June 27, 1916 - I am as fluent a swimmer as the Lusitania . . .

Joe continues to share his daily busy life with Helen. As he now refers to her as My dear Helen. Progress on that front.

June 27,1916.

My dear Helen?
     This letter will probably sound more like a scenario than anything else I can think of; but for the reasons that will appear, it is the best that can happen just now.
     It is just 7:30 P.M. Our Bnai Brith Lodge-of which I am the present presiding officer-has its final meeting, before the summer recess, tonight, and we will have with us the Board of District Deputies for this jurisdiction to oversee our work. I have just returned, that is about an hour ago, from Morris Cove, a shore resort outside of New Haven, where the Business Men's Association have been spending their day in an outing, and was invited to speak this afternoon, I left here at noon. Well, all morning I have showing the new steno the various things in the office to familiarize her with the surroundings, and at present it looks as if she ought, to make good. But it takes a little time before one gets used to new environments, and naturally things do not move as briskly as one would desire. But then. after a short time, everything will be running in good shape, I hope.
     I had many laughs on account of your letter this morning. Not at the letter itself, but because of the insertions. The standing army was really funny, but the Boob News about the velvet lined sardine cans for pet sardines was the straw that broke the camel's back. To see the girl take the gold fish out for an airing reminded me of the girl that took her canary out one after-noon via the tom-cat route. And to cap the climax, that article giving the extract from an editorial. There must be some people who believe it sensible to go home early, apparently.
     Yesterday my car ran beautifully to Shelton, and after Court when I got in and tried to start, it would no more move than if it were the Rock of Gibraltar. I tinkered with it for awhile, as did my brother's "Showfur" but to no purpose, finally I left for Bridge­port on the train, and at a garage they found something the matter with it, so that it took the rest of the day to get it running again. I haven't had it out to-day, but if the chance arrives maybe tomorrow will afford an opportunity of trying it out once more.
     While in Morris Cove a gentleman informed me that he saw a piece of my handiwork in the July number of the Fra. My copy has not arrived as yet, nor can one be obtained from the stands, so I must wait a few days to see what particular thing it is.
     Another good laugh was started to-night when the Doctor suggested that he would call for me in the morning and we could go down the Park (Long Island Sound) and take a swim, I am as fluent a swimmer as the Lusitania after the torpedo tickled it. He ventured to teach me, in fact suggested that an elephant that escaped from the circus swam out to the light house; then, why not I? Oh, and gee whiz, and gosh darn. That was the most unkindest cut of all.
     Sincerely
     Joe

The next letter is June 29.